What To Share and Will They Care?

So I've been thinking about names - a better name for this blog and a blog nickname for the new baby.  No luck with the blog name so far.  Any suggestions?  As for baby number 2, let's go with Bug - as in Snugglebug.  He really is awfully snuggly :)

I guess the question might be, why not just use my sons' real first names?  It's a fair question as I use their names freely on Facebook and I post their pictures on there (and here), as well.  I guess I feel that I have more control over who accesses my Facebook information than I do over this blog.  I don't mind if strangers read my blog, especially since I share information about our food sensitivity journey which might be helpful for other parents.  However, I'm not 100% comfortable revealing too much identifying information about my kids to people I don't know.  Not that there are many people reading my blog - yet?  I'm not kidding myself, though, that this sense of security isn't false and I'm aware that it is kind of a double standard to use their pictures and not their names.  But it's the call I'm making, for now.

I know some parents who do not reveal any information about their children online and are uncomfortable with any pictures, names, etc. being posted.  I know others who share anything and everything, who have no concerns about privacy.  I make no judgments of how any parents choose to approach this issue.  It's a tough one, and very personal.

What are our responsibilities, if any, as parents in terms of protecting our kids from exposure on the internet?  This is an unprecedented issue for parents to tackle.  My parents never had the opportunity to share pictures of me, details of my personal life, or their thoughts on parenting me with, well, potentially people all across the planet.  And being that these things were an impossibility in my childhood, I am not sure that I can give a qualified assessment of how I would feel about them if they hadn't been (if that makes sense).  Would I be embarrassed?  Angry?  Or would it even matter to me, if so many of my peers were in the same boat?  Am I over-thinking it and the children of today really won't care that their lives were so much more publicly documented than those of any generations previously?  Before they become old enough to make the decision about sharing private information for themselves, that is (and we know how that can turn out).


Still, for me, how much information and which information is shared about them, and with whom, is always a consideration.  Hopefully it will be of some consolation to my children, should they ever feel slighted, that I at least tried to be ever mindful of the fact that what I am sharing belongs to them.  Sharing what isn't technically mine to share is a liberty and privilege that I am claiming as their mom.  After all, it is every parent's natural instinct to want everyone to know how wonderful their children are.  Now we just have the ultimate tools to make it happen.

A Little Bit of History Repeating

For anyone wondering how the food sensitivity story ended for Lovey, well, it didn't.  It hasn't.  He continues to be unable to tolerate even small amounts of dairy however he seems to be okay with *most* other foods.  I'm never fully convinced that there aren't other foods that he reacts to.  But he is really thriving and there are no other ongoing symptoms or patterns, so we do not restrict his diet otherwise.

Lovey stopped nursing just past 2 years - probably a result of a combination of factors, not the least of which was a tanking supply due to my pregnancy.  He self-weaned, so we achieved that goal, though it was bittersweet.  I really thought he would ask to try it once the baby arrived, but he didn't.  I guess he was really ready even if I wasn't.  The good news for me was that it allowed me total freedom in my diet.  And did I enjoy it!  While I didn't add dairy in on a daily basis, I definitely indulged.  After all, I was pregnant and very, very hungry!  I did struggle with the worry that I was exposing the unborn babe to dairy and possibly exacerbating/creating a dairy sensitivity in him.  Interestingly I began to have some interesting reactions of my own after eating dairy, which confirmed the testing that I had done which indicated that I also have a sensitivity.  Boo.

And now for more bad news ... it looks like we are dealing with a food sensitivity situation with this baby, too.  We were so hopeful at first.  The first diapers looked good.  But then we started to see the same symptoms as with Lovey.  Congestion, fussiness, gas/discomfort, reflux, bad diapers.  I had pretty much cut out dairy from about a week before his birth but after things looked good, I admit I had some pizza just to see what would happen.  So I went off dairy again, problems continued.  Went off soy, problems continue.  Now I'm looking at maybe tomato because there might be a pattern.  It can take a few weeks to see improvements.  And the feelings of discouragement are starting to set in again.  I start to wonder - is it me?  Is it my milk?  This is further complicated by an oversupply/overactive letdown issue which can cause some of the symptoms.  There is overlap.  It is crazy-making.  Thankfully he is growing and developing very well and the symptoms are not as extreme (i.e. no blood) so I feel that his sensitivity(s) are likely less severe than Lovey's.  And, of course, we have lots of knowledge and experience behind us, which should help us figure this out fairly quickly.  *fingers crossed*

Our New Addition

Well, I have decided to give this blogging thing another shot. I think I lost steam partially because I was so busy and also because I didn't have much of a "following" to motivate me. But I realize now, reading back over my old posts, that I like to read what I wrote. It's kind of like finding an old diary, only much clearer and well-organized.

So, yes, I am going to write an update about Lovey's food sensitivity/allergy situation at some point. There have been other significant developments, however, that bear mentioning. As Lovey approached 2 years, we began talking about expanding our family. Next thing we knew, I was pregnant again! So, we now have TWO little boys in our family! Boy #2 (haven't given him his blog nickname yet) was born on November 27, 2010, and I think that our homebirth story, to my best recollection, would make a lovely first return-to-blogging post. I promise that I've included no gory details but it is, after all, a birth story so if the words "contraction," "dilated," or "push" make you squeamish, you may wish to sit this one out.

On Friday morning (Nov 26) I saw my midwife, Kaelyn, and she checked me (my choice) - I was 1 cm and 40% effaced. We joked that maybe she triggered something. Well, my water broke on Friday night around 7:30. I wasn't totally sure so Kaelyn came and checked me, and confirmed it. Contractions started when I went to bed, around 11ish and they were regular for a while, about 6-8 minutes apart. They kind of petered out, which worried me because with Lovey my labor stalled and that is one of the numerous reasons we had to go to the hospital. Everyone kept reminding me that this was a different baby and different labor, but it was hard not to compare because that was my point of reference, right? Anyway, I couldn't sleep and I woke Chris up to hang out with me around 3 or so. In the morning, Kaelyn advised us to go for a walk and to try some homeopathic remedies to help get the contractions more established. It was lovely because it was the first real snow flurries of the season and Lovey had a blast, shouting "Snow!" with glee every few minutes. So cute!

After lunch, Chris and I decided to have Lovey go to my parents' house so they came and picked him up. I had really hoped that he would be there for the birth but we realized that we were tired and needed rest, and I needed Chris's full attention and support. I found that Chris putting extreme pressure on my lower back during a contraction would help immensely. At around 3, I went to lay down and suddenly the contractions started coming fast and furious. Chris called our primary midwife, Rhea (who, I would like to mention, was not even on call but had attended Lovey's birth and, it seems, was determined to be present at this birth and we love her so much for this), at 3:30, and she arrived at about 4. She checked me and I was at 6 cm. She called Kaelyn who arrived shortly after that. I was laboring in the shower.

Maybe around 5 they moved me onto our bed. I was at 8-9 cm, and I just remember that shortly after that I felt like I needed to push so they said go ahead. I wasn't pushing effectively for a bit so they literally sat me on a birthing stool, on the bed, for a few pushes, then moved me back onto the bed, on my back. I pushed for about an hour total, and holy moly, crowning and pushing him out was painful! I guess I did not expect it because I was medicated for Lovey's birth. Man, did I just want him out!!! Chris helped to catch him, and announced his gender, and cut the cord (which was loosely around his neck but Rhea quickly dealt with that with no issues). Rhea and Kaelyn felt that he was a bit pale so after putting him right on my chest they blew some oxygen in his face. He was fine - more than fine, actually - perfect!



He was 8 lb 6 oz and 20.75 inches long (not 21.75 inches as I had previously thought and reported to everyone!).  Rhea and Kaelyn checked our vitals and did the after birth type stuff. We ordered take out and just hung out for 3 hours. Rhea ran me an herbal bath and put me in it, and they cleaned up everything while I relaxed with Chris and baby. It was amazing!!! Our midwives were just so fabulous!  I told them I loved them a few times, I think.  Then they tucked me into bed and left us to snuggle with our new babe.



There were moments during the labour and during the pushing, especially, when I thought, "What did I get myself into?" and "Is it too late to go to the hospital for an epidural?" (umm, yah! Way too late! LOL). I had to tell myself that there was only one way out and that was to keep going! But, at the end, I felt like a superwoman!! Being at home made it possible to have him naturally, and I am so grateful that we were able to have this experience.

Dug up an old post

I stumbled across an old post that I never published for some reason, from April 19, 2009. So I went ahead and published it. In it I talk about Lovey's almost first steps, among other things. The funny part? The following day he actually did take his first real steps and the guy has been running everywhere ever since!

Stay tuned ...

I think I may well be resurrecting this blog. Just doing some renovations for now ...